Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member SarahFemale/Belgium Group :icondutchharpg: DutchHARPG
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 281 Deviations 1,551 Comments 11,120 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Groups

Journal History

:new:
UPDATE
:new:

Apparently, there is still hope.
With the academic year starting next monday, I'm still going to school.

Yes, I thought it would be going to work for me and no longer to school, but I have been given a last chance.
Under certain conditions (which I will not specify here).

I'm starting again on monday.
Other school, other city, other classes.
Something totally different, but I really hope this fits better with me then last year.

Hopefully, this goes better and will I be able to pass my courses better.




I don't know where I have to put it but here. Perhaps it's not really something that belongs here, but on the other side, I have no clue were to post it else.
I just need to get this of my chest somehow.

Perhaps some of you will remember this piece I made, a couple of  months ago, when summer started.

PA: Pain by DragonsTigerLilly

It happend just after finals and I had gotten my grades, which were bad. It was the start of a summer of studying and trying to get everything in order
untill the end of august/begin of september untill second chances came around and I could try to get a better grade.

That time had come and go by know and the results of those exams have come in as well. And again, they are bad.

At this point, I just don't know it anymore. To understand it all, you must know that most people in my country start higher education (bachelor or master studies) after leaving secundairy school (at is is called here, don't know about elsewhere) when they are around 18 or 19 years old.
Due to some poor choises I made when I was 18 and the fact that I was just sick of school, I didn't start then. Instead, I waited. I waited untill I was 24. By that age, you can already cmplete a 5-year master program like engineering studies. But not me. I then started only to go back to school. That wa 1 year ago.

I  must say, I didn't regret the decision to go back to school. First of all, I am actually nothing with my secundairy school diploma, since I didn't learn a profession. Second, I really enjoyed that year at school. Met a lot of people, had fun. It was actually fun to go back. Something I never really had know that school could be. The years in secundairy school had been a constant pestering and bullying for me (one of the main reasons I didn't wanted to go back when I turned 18).

But yeah, now that my results came in and they are bad, again, I just don't know it anymore. I knew when I started last september that I would have to pass almost instantly for each course, if I didn't want to be in school untill I turned 30 or something (the study I am taken is one of 3 years, a bachelor). But since I have bad grades, the only option seems to be to retake my year and try to do better this time.

But I wonder, if I can't do it the first time like I has to, and not even the second time, what difference would a third time make? It's not like I didn't try. I already knew from the past that I had to work hard to pass classes and get good grades. And even then I wondered if I had reached my limits of what I was capable of (last year of secundairy school was a really close one, I just pulled through). For some reason, I have the feeling I just reached my limits of what I can don.

Yet, I liked going back, learning things. For some reason, I have no problem with that. It's just the exams and passing them that seems to be the problem, no matter what I try. I really have the feeling that I'm just not smart enough for all of it. I said so much to my parents today, just like it would be just better to quit it all and go working. My father says that we could always talk about it again, but I really doubt that it will help anything. What could possibly be said on this point that could help? It's not like it will help my brain to remember things better or make me a master programmer over night (yes, the study was applied Informatics).

So, I guess this is goodbye education, goodbye school and goodbye to all the nice people I have met there.


Please don't expect any happy art from me shortly. I'm down. I feel like I'm broken and that I wasted a year on something to end with no results.
I'm sorry about this, I just need it off my chest.

deviantID

DragonsTigerLilly
Sarah
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Belgium
IT student - Horse lover - Amazon - Hobby-Artist - Gamer

Guess you know the most of me know.
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconnexu4:
Nexu4 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconthanxforfavplz: on my - friesian small talk stock -  :iconfrostymorningbliss:
Reply
:iconrosenwood-stables:
Rosenwood-Stables Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  New member
Hi there :D (Big Grin) You are a wonderful artist <3
I have just opened a new horse breed! rosenwood-stables.deviantart.c… I'd love to see the breed in your style, if you are interested I currently have some open imports here : rosenwood-warmblood.deviantart… . Customs are also availible at 30 points :) (Smile)Sorry if I have bothered you.
Reply
:iconkittenbutler:
KittenButler Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Reply
:iconnexu4:
Nexu4 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconthankyounoteplz::iconboltdogplz:
Reply
:icondragonstigerlilly:
DragonsTigerLilly Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you're welcome ;)
Reply
:icondwdstock:
DWDStock Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014  Professional Photographer
Thanks for the +fav  Heart 
Reply
:iconvaynese:
Vaynese Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Bedankt voor de watch! :heart:
Reply
:iconsummerly:
Summerly Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014
Dank je voor de fave op Dressage Stock XXXIV!

xx
Reply
:icondragonstigerlilly:
DragonsTigerLilly Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
geen punt
dank je voor zulke mooie stock
ga er vast en zeker nog een paar gebruiken ;)
Reply
:iconsummerly:
Summerly Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014
Geen probleem! Ik ben benieuwd naar je werken! :D
Reply
Add a Comment: